


Still a He

by alottlehomo



Series: trans!ezekiel drabbles [1]
Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: 3 +1, 3 times it was an accident and 1 time it was necessary, Body Dysphoria, Dysphoria, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Mild Transphobia, jenzekiel-relationship, trans!Ezekiel, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7669486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alottlehomo/pseuds/alottlehomo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3 times the others find out on accident, and the 1 time he tells someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still a He

1.

It’s an accident when Eve finds out, he thinks everyone’s out for their free day when she suddenly barges into his room at the annex (technically his room, but the only person that actually knows he lives there is the library itself and maybe Jenkins). He’s shirtless and the scars are as clear as day; deep purple, dark, jagged, horizontal lines, half an inch beneath his nipples. He’d been lounging, contemplating a good old fashioned bath when she’d come in, and now he can’t grab a shirt fast enough. 

He doesn’t know if she knows what they are, what they mean, but he thinks by the shock in her eyes and the subtle drop of her jaw that he isn’t so lucky. She knows.

“Don’t tell a soul”

“I won’t.” She swears, and Ezekiel doesn’t believe her. It’s not even personal, he’d trust her with some of his deepest secrets, and yet as she turns around to leave, he expects the others to come running in any moment, asking questions. He hides for a good three days after that, avoiding anyone and everyone, only ever speaking to Jenkins, as he’s hiding in the other man’s lab. Jenkins never asks why he’s hiding and Ezekiel never tells but he’s never been more grateful than he is now that he’d gotten on this man’s good side… somehow.

He’s never noticed before that unless Jenkins leads someone to his lab or tells them they can go in, that the halls outside change so it can’t be found by anyone else.

2.

When Jake finds out it goes over far better than Ezekiel ever expected it to, and he almost feels bad for the assumptions he had about the other man’s views. They’re fighting, almost playfully, over something done. Ezekiel fakes a right hook and ends up on his back, Jake falling too far and ending up between Ezekiel’s legs.

He can see the startled look on Jake’s face, the realization that where Ezekiel’s loins should be there was nothing. Ezekiel feels fear like ice run through his veins for the first time in a long time as he realized how exposed he was. All of his weak points were up for grabs. Jake could hit him anywhere, could keep him pinned and yell - others had done it before. 

Jake doesn’t do any of that, just pushes himself up and holds out a hand.

“Sorry man, way too up close and personal for my taste, I’m more into chicks.” Stone jokes, clapping Ezekiel on the shoulder. Ezekiel immediately decides he owes him, something rare that he hates doing, but he does nonetheless.

3.

When Cassandra and Flynn find out, Eve and Jake are there. Ezekiel is bleeding out on the dusty floor of some dumb pyramid in south America, and they’re ripping his shirt off to staunch the bleeding. Flynn stares, and stares, and stares, until Ezekiel lurches off the floor with a pained screech that barely sounds human to his ears, but that may be because hes going in and out. Eve is in the background with Jenkins on the line talking too fast to understand and Cassie is pressing his bunched up shirt into his side. 

Ezekiel thinks he sees a flash of light and then a pair of old worn hands, then nothing. He doesn’t see anything. 

“Why wouldn’t he tell us that he’s..!?”

“He’s Ezekiel Jones, Flynn, when does he ever tell us anything?”

“It’s not like we ever needed to know, it’s not our business.”

“Eve is right, he’s still a he, it doesn’t change anything.”

“And let it be noted, that if any of you think otherwise, I am owed several favors by _many_ powerful beings, and I won’t hesitate to ask them to turn you into things, less than pleasant if you make your opinions known distastefully.”

Ezekiel flickers out of consciousness again to the sound of Jenkins' voice and a hand on his back.

+1

When Jenkins finds out it’s less of an accident and more of a happy coincidence. They've been dating for a few months, since that few days he’d hidden out in Jenkins' lab after Eve found him out and he noticed that every time it looked like one of the others was coming down the hall, everything would turn and suddenly it was like they were in a completely different corridor. Ezekiel had asked when Jenkins came back what the shifting had been, the other man had responded with an offhanded, “ If I don’t want them finding it, they won’t.” only to freeze up, realizing what he’d implied.

Ezekiel had never had trouble getting anywhere in the library, not Jenkins' lab, not his room, not anything. In fact sometimes it almost seemed to him like he stumbled into Jenkins' lab without meaning to. They’d spent a lot of time together since that day, and in the end,Ezekiel was more comfortable with him than he was with anyone, it was terrifying, and if in that moment, he wasn’t so dysphoric and distraught, he might have considered running away. Hiding himself from Jenkins. 

In the end the opposite happened.

He ended up topless, in Jenkins' room, the other man facing him on the bed as they laid on their sides. He was in a pair of Jenkins' boxers, a sock stuffed down the front to create the illusion of what wasn’t there, and Jenkins' hands were warm where they traced the scar tissue on his chest in a way that felt more gently intimate, than sexual.

“Does it bother you?” he asks, and for the first time since he was a kid he thinks he knows the answer already; and it’s exactly what he wants to hear.

“Of course not.” Jenkins murmured, his finger movements never faltering, “ it’s new to me now, yes, but not bothersome.”

They stay light that for hours, until Ezekiel feels like he can breathe again, and his skin is actually _his_ skin. When it’s passed, and Ezekiel can stand to look down at himself, and let Jenkins hug him properly, they go down to the lab. They joke and Ezekiel screws around like nothing has changed, and it hasn’t. He’s wearing one of Jenkins' button downs just because he knows he can, he’s got a black hat on backwards and Jenkins flicks the back of his neck every time it hits him when he passes, it’s comfortable and it’s exactly what he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it you can tell me at www.queerezekiel.tumblr.com , kudos and comment below!


End file.
